Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
