I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
