Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
