just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
