Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
