Someone shit on the floor
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
