You really coming over, don't trick.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize