If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
