I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
