yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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