she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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