i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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