I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
