so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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