Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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