i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
