Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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