Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
