I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
only you would photoshop your dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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