he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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