If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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