god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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