The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
