tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
