My first STD was from a foam party
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize