hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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