Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
