It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
do nipples grow back?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
