"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you didnt know i had herpes?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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