What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
