Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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