im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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