I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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