this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
