Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
