Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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