His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
