You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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