She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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