So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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