so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
