He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
