A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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