it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
