Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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