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• (661): View more from California

  Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

  (831): View more from California

  Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on

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