Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize