is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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