Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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