'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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