The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
