just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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