she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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