On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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