Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just google imaged poop.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
