"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
