were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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