Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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