And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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