I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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